Attention Deficit Heaven-Sent Disorder

There’s this doctor in Louisville that specializes in coaching college students with ADHD.  I looked up her Facebook page this evening and ran across her question, “Have you hugged your ADHD today?”  Well, of course those are not the words one should use if one wants to make a solid impression on Anya, but I decided I would do my best to figure out an answer to that question that might actually benefit someone with ADHD.

The first thing I always try to do when examining strange groups of words is to break them down as literally as possible, but of course when I did that this evening, I laughed out loud because everyone knows that ADHD is intangible and therefore un-huggable.  So I got to thinking about ADHD itself and whether its qualities were abominable or embraceable.  This time I was forced to break down the acronym: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and the truth is that I fit every description, every symptom of ADHD except the great big H.  My mind wanders like an ancient nomad, distraction is my favorite pastime, I forget the simplest things even when I write them on my face, yet I was simply not given the amount of daily energy allotted to human beings.  I crash in the middle of every day and have therefore proclaimed myself a medical paradox.

So what should we do with the H?  Well, some people leave it out and try to complicate things by diversifying the diagnosis, but that just makes the whole problem worse.  I haven’t decided on an official substitute for “Hyperactivity” yet, so let’s hold that thought.  It’s time to return to that silly cliche of a question, “Have you hugged your ADHD today?”  Well, when I let down my rhetorical pride, my answer is yes.  I woke up in the morning late enough to guarantee functionality, went down to breakfast even though it opens too late on Sundays, nearly fell asleep standing up in a Blue Line train, totally missed it when the automated voice said the train was turning express, back-tracked my way to church, wandered successfully to my bus stop later on, went to the zoo (perfect outlet for ADHD, by the way, especially when you’re alone and can’t hold other people up by stopping to look at every pretty plant on the side of the path), enjoyed looking in a store with every color of clothing, and finally took 5 minutes to remember which username and password would get me into WordPress.

Yes, I admit, I did hug my ADHD today.  And I admit further that it was more fun than pretending it wasn’t there.  Maybe by Christmas break I’ll have come up with another H.

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